In the last couple months I’ve been experiencing a kind of numbness. Not sadness, not depression, but something more reminiscent of Seinfeld’s David Puddy staring blankly into space. I began to withdraw from social media, networking and other functions, simply because my heart wasn’t in it. I was even a bit slow to respond to non-emergency friends and family correspondence, knowing they would allow me non-judgmental space. In the past, I would’ve beaten myself up with guilt or the fear of missing out, for not participating in everything I thought I should have.
But then something cool happened, I gave myself a break. I decided to honor my numbness and not shove it into some little compartment. Recently I’ve had some wonderful coffee chats with good friends who have experienced similar comatose states (lol) and I’m currently reading a few timely and enlightening books. There’s a reason I feel this way and it’s giving me an opportunity to grow and evolve. No doubt being 51, approaching menopause and the current idiotic political climate has contributed to my state of numbness, yet I feel a sense of excitement. I see and feel a spiritual and emotional shift happening. I absolutely know who I want to spend time with and how I don’t want to waste time with negative BS. I’ve become much more clear about what being a personal stylist and personal trainer means to me. With styling it’s so not about the trends, clothes, shoes or jewelry. It is about how those things, when they work with our shape, coloring and personality, can finally allow a woman to see her boundless potential. I’ve discovered the more women I help in finding their authentic style, the more authentic and inspired I become. There is nothing better than seeing a huge smile break out on the face of a client-friend when she finally sees herself the way I see her: strong, beautiful and unstoppable. In other words, when she “finds her shine.” And after years of personal training, I invoked my own velvet rope policy, and that alone was a huge dumbbell lifted from my shoulders (bit of strength training humor for ya). The people I’m fortunate to work with are not only fun to be around, but they truly care about their health and wellbeing.
I can already feel some of my Puddy-esque fog lifting, but if you happen to see me staring blankly into space, no worries, I’m just embracing the numb. 😉